Documents/My Wife
Description
This document details the history and functions of My Wife and can be found in a side room in any room type, although very rarely. This is a reference to the game "Squirrel Stapler" in which you hunt squirrels to staple to your dead wife.
Document
My Beautiful Wife
Z-1223 - Codename: "My Wife", is the headless, skinless corpse of my wife strung up to a metal detainer. It is currently unknown how or when my wife was decapitated and strung up into the detainer, further research is ongoing.
My wife was discovered in late 2023 in a cabin in the woods located near Grosse Pointe Park in Michigan. After numerous reports of a declining animal population in the local area and an incredibly foul odor originating from the cabin, 2 local police officers were dispatched to the cabin to investigate. Urbanshade operatives reported shortly after, as both officers had reported that "They had found the corpse of their wife", despite neither of them ever having been married. My wife's corpse was found shortly after and was transported to the Hadal Blacksite for safekeeping from the dangers of the world.
Regardless of a person's preferences, Z-1223 is always recognizable to them as their wife.
A questionnaire was held where 206 Urbanshade employees of different genders, marital statuses, and preferences were shown pictures of my wife's corpse, all 206 of them claiming it was the picture of my wife. Whilst in my wife's presence, employees will feel a strong need to grab a stapler and staple smaller animals onto her carcass, as she wishes to wear them in order to be beautiful again. This urge only manifests if there are any small animals in the area, otherwise, nothing will happen.
The list of known animals that my wife wants to be stapled onto her includes:
- Aquarium fish
- Hedgehogs
- Squirrels
- Cats
- Foxes
- Rats & mice
- Small birds
- Ferrets
If no small animals are present nearby, these urges will not manifest, and my wife will remain without her beautiful skin.
Once enough animals have been stapled onto my wife, she will return to her slumber. After 3-4 days, the carcasses of the dead animals will have decomposed & evaporated. Once this happens, my wife wants to be supplied with a new fresh shipment of animals that is to be stapled onto her immediately.
Despite serving no monetary value, my wife is to be kept safe and sound, lest we want to bring upon us the wrath of god.
